One way to think about what works in persuading others is to think about what doesn’t work first.

See below ten obstacles to successful persuasion:

1. Thinking that you are better at persuasion than you are, and therefore failing to hone your skills. Instead, take a long, hard look at yourself, and see where your skills need to be improved.
2. Trying too hard to persuade. Seeming too keen probably puts people off faster than anything else.
3. Failing to put in the effort required to get what you want. Nothing, or at least not much, is free in this world.
4. Talking too much. Stop, and just listen to the people you need to persuade.
5. Providing too much information, which just confuses people, and makes them think you are trying to blind them with science. What, they ask, are you not telling them?
6. Getting desperate. Like insincerity, people can spot fear at a distance, and don’t like it.
7. Being afraid of rejection. This can even stop people from trying to persuade in extreme cases.
8. Not being prepared. You can’t ‘wing it’ every time. Your audience will see through you, and will think that you value your time more highly than theirs.
9. Making assumptions about your audience, and then not being prepared to reassess when new evidence emerges.
10. Forgetting that the whole conversation is important. You need to engage in order to persuade, right from the beginning.